So, the kids, as you can see, are doing great.  AJ lost her first tooth a few days ago. God they grow so quickly.  Thus,  I've been going out of my way to go camping and do things in California while we can.  Things at work are going objectively well to outsiders.  Of course, we continue to invest almost everything back into the place.  I don't mind doing that.  My only fear is that I look up and I am 50 and still in debt.  Still here.  I feel a clock ticking inside  me.  As I tell my clients, money is replaceable...time isn't.   Thus, the struggle continues.  This isn't easy in so many ways.  Of course, I continue to miss Alaska.
 It hasn't eased even a single inch in over two years.  The fall is in full swing in Alaska and I miss it horribly.  This blows.  That is all I can say.  I still feel like I am drifting....I haven't even finishing unpacking from Alaska and I don't intend to.  On the flip side, things are taking their sweet time.  We had to make a hard business decision and let my buddy Gabe go.  He is apparently going back to Alaska soon.  Despite my optimism for the future, there is a part of me that can't help be jealous, despite how hard it is on everyone.  At least I am taking the family to Alaska for Christmas.  It's hard to wait.     Despite my best efforts, I cannot find a way to be happy here.  The mass torts are taking forever and costing a fortune.  I am starting two new web sites, however, that hold amazing promise.  Both and could lead to the life I want.  I guess I will just keep going.    


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