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Showing posts from April, 2012
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So, here's to the commute in Alaska. At least several times a week, the drive (or flight) to and/or from work takes my breath away. Pictures, of course, do no justice. I am lucky to have this time. One of my favorite sayings is "money is replaceable...time is not". And despite the hardships of Alaska, I would never trade the years I spent in this place. The mountains and glaciers and sky call to me. I curse the need for the almighty dollar that drives me from this place. For soon I know that my commute will be bumper to bumper. The smell of fumes. Heat. I write this post in the hopes that when I am trapped in that nightmare that I remember when I was free. Young. In a place that made me ache because of the beauty of it all.  Tick tock.  Only 101 days until I pack.  101 days left in this place.  I intend to enjoy every single second.  <a href="http://s45.sitemeter.com/stats.asp?site=s45alaska" target="_top…
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So, happy birthday AJ!  4 already.  God I love you.  My only regret is that this will be your last birthday in Alaska.  You won't remember this place.  If you ever see me mention Alaska and just burst into tears, forgive me.  I will always remember the place you came into my life.  You had a good day.  You got all your dinosaur stuff.  We went for a Dairy Queen burger.  It was a beautiful, clear Alaska day.  It made me ache for things that can't be.  But you deserve so much more than I can give you right now.  You deserve everything you want.  I am convinced that the future of America is dark.  It may be that I can give you is mere survival.  But, if I am wrong, I want you to have a better life than I had.  To never want for a thing.  I don't give a shit what the world says.  Work sucks.  I hope you spend every single day of your life exactly how you want.  I will do all I can to make that happen for you.  You are an amazing girl....of course I say that because you are t…
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So, I haven't been blogging much. I'm sure it will fire back up soon. I have made a decision. And the decision will be implemented tomorrow. As usual, this is not public info so I hope I can trust my readers to wait for me to make it so. Tomorrow I am booking a ticket on the July 30 ferry to Bellingham. I do not have a job waiting. A home. An income. Instead I will (re) enter the United States on a non-immigrant visa. I will borrow tens of thousands of dollars to move and to live on. Yet I am going to California to start a new practice. One of two things will happen: I will fail miserably and borrow enough money to run back to Canada or I will be more successful than I can imagine. A few things have inspired this bold move. I get paid Tuesday. For thefirst time since moving to Alaska almost SIX years ago, I was going to owe less than I came with.  That's right.  5 and a half years have left me even.  We live in the same 960 square foot house.  Drive the same …
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So happy Birthday Kadee! 6 already. Wow. And my what an amazing child you have grown into. My only regret so far is not being able to give you everything I want to. Sometimes, I admit, all 3 kids in a 960 square foot house drives me nuts. I am not a perfect Dad. But you mean the world to me and I will do everything I can for you. I hope you always remember your 6th birthday in Maui. I expect that big changes are coming to our lives. I love Alaska but I know now more than ever that is a dead end for us. As I sit here about to board the plane home, I feel like Andy Dufresne after he came out of the hole that last time. As he slumped against that wall he decided right there that he HAD to change his life. Get busy living, or get busy dying. I have applied for another job that is woefully inadequate but could make our lives so much better. It's not too much to ask to come to Maui more often. It's not too much to ask that my 6 year has a pony. That we live in a…
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So, Maui. The first thing I noticed is how 'easy' life is here. I don't mean because I am on vacation. I get the difference. What I mean is this: it is 8 am. We can throw a pair of shorts on the kids and just go. In Alaska we have to warm up the house, warm up the car, scrape a windshield, get the kids all dressed, put the truck in 4 wheel drive to get out of the driveway....etc....etc. It's really made me think, let me tell you. When I first arrived in Maui I was incredibly disappointed in myself. I mean here I am for the first time at almost 40? I am a good lawyer and I am here because I have airmiles and a buddy who lives here? Driving an ancient Toyota rental? It is a far cry from how I wanted things to be. I am trying to make things better. I did NOT get the job in Sonoma County. Oh well. I will try another approach. I have to say.....I know it is artificial as hell but once I have tasted this life it makes me even hungrier. I have a lot more …