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Showing posts from January, 2012
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So, I can't believe that my time in Alaska is coming to an end. On the one hand, I am excited. I am looking forward to some things about our new life. Objectively, in some ways, leaving is a no brainer. I have more debt than I arrived in Alaska with. I don't have a Green Card and never will on this job. There are parts of where I work that make me very unhappy now....people I can't trust.  J hates the winters. I want money so bad I can taste it. But. When I think about these bright winter days. The view driving (or flying) to work. Tustumena Lake. Katchemak Bay. All the amazing times I have had here...it makes me sad. But the die is cast. The house went up for sale yesterday. The next few months, unless I am horribly mistaken, will see us out of here. Like I said, a no brainer. But I will cry when I leave. I have to go but I wish I could stay.  I will be back though, and maybe next time I won't have to worry about the things that prevent me from staying now.  I know…
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So, I am frustrated. This house is too small. And I work all week and clean house all night and weekend it seems. I have spent the last TWO days of my weekend JUST cleaning the kitchen, and it is not nearly done. J and I fight about it a lot. I think eventually it will cause our marriage to be in real trouble. From my point of view, I can't understand what she does all day. I know she looks after the girls but the place is just always such a disaster. I can't live in the chaos. We just have different priorities. I think that part of staying at home is keeping the place clean. She just doesn't care when the place looks like the video. I don't like airing my dirty laundry but it is at the point where I can see us separating over this.  I have a choice: either I work full time and spend all my spare time cleaning and doing housework OR I can live in a chaotic, messy house that makes me angry and frustrated.  At least this winter I have nothing else to do anyways.......bu…
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So, happy new year. I meant to write earlier in the year but, quite frankly, I haven't had much to write about. The holiday season is over and life is back to 'norma'l. Of course, it didn't change much for us. I'm not sure why I blog anymore except out of habit. One day I will make it public again. And I hope the kids appreciate it one day. The most 'exciting' thing for me is re-doing the kitchen. New paint, a backsplash and new trim. No major renovations but a general clean-up. The weather has been cold and I have been enjoying the cold, clear winter nights. While J and I both recognize the need for money, we both have reservations about leaving Alaska.  Nights when it is -20 and you can see every star make me think twice for sure. The kids are doing great. Sasha will be on her feet soon. She loves to "talk" and says "digga digga digga", which we think is 'dog'.  That word will be frequent when the 5 puppies get on their feet.…