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Showing posts from November, 2010
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So, happy belated Thanksgiving. I hope everyone took the time to be truly grateful for all we have in this country. And for what we each have. Maybe it just a product of getting older but I am more aware that the day is coming when I just won't be here anymore. To recongize the continuity of life, I put out some of the few things I have from those who came before me. Some pictures that hung in my great grandparents house. A vase that belonged to my great, great, great, great grandmother. And among those ancient treasures, I enjoyed the company of friends and family. Absurd quantities of food. I hope that everyone, everywhere is well.
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So, I have to wonder if everyone who has a third child goes through this? The shift in family dynamics? The acting up of the now middle child. The extra time it takes to do everything. The shift in responsibilities. The constant wondering over how to pay for everything. Can I do it? Of course. But what do we give up to pay for the extra $100 a month in just diapers? I already don't eat lunch out very often. I make my own coffee. Is there excess? Sure. But what do I do? Drive less? Buy less groceries? Get rid of more stuff? I cannot deny being exasperated lately trying to sort all this out. I have to wonder if every working family goes through this. Sigh. Will we starve? Of course not. But can I give my kids everything I want to? No. And right now I'm just not sure where the money is going to come from for things like diapers. One paycheck + 5 people + one small house + a couple toys + bad luck = how the fu&* do I do this?
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So, this post is dedicated to my four old daughter. Her new deal is taking photos. With my camera. Ouch.... But what the hell....here are some she took. Not bad huh? I think one of the best things about having kids is the wonder of what they will do. The things they will see and do and the places they will go that I can't even dream about. Dream big Kadee! Growing up in Alaska I hope you get to see, and photograph, beautiful places that most people will never see and photos will never do justice to...and if you break my camera in the process, well that was worth it.
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So, winter arrived over the night. The first real snow of the year. Now we settle in for 6 months. Talk about timing. I just had the money to put the snows tires on. Last night, Bill and I finished clearing off some firewood from a 5 acre lot. The freezers are full. Time to cook and read. For my winter reading, I have started the History of WWII by Winston Churchill. I love how Americans always think they won that war on their own. It was Churchill who made that victory happen...."We know it will be hard; we expect it to be long, we cannot predict or measure its episodes or its tribulations. But one thing is certain, one thing is sure, one thing stands out stark and undeniable, massive and unassailable for all the world to see. We cannot see how deliverance will come or when it will come, but nothing is more certain that every trace of Hitler's footsteps, every stain of his infected, corroding fingers will be sponged and purged and, if need be, blasted from the surface o…
So, this is dead on. Can't you get me probation? And I love the "in my training and experience". There isn't a judge alive who doesn't fall for that like Oprah on a baked ham.


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So, at 1:54 p.m. on the day of first snow of winter 2010 came my Sasha Jade. And just like that I was in love with a 19 inch 7 lb 1.6 oz little girl. The newest Alaskan. Despite what the State says, I vow to my dying breath to fight the assertion that you are a second class citizen because of my citizenship. I vow to fight anyone who would hurt you. So many emotions were in my heart and mind. I was proud of J for doing such a good job. Amazed by the life in front of me. Amazed at how, once I saw her, all the worries over how to make it work financially just disappeared. I don't have a lot of time right now. But to my little girl: already, I love you more than you will ever know. I promise to give you all I have and all I am. Your mom and I have given up a lot to be in this amazing place called Alaska so you could be born as free as anyone ever has. I can't wait to show you this place. I can't wait for you to get to know your sisters. They are amazing, beautiful little girl…