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Showing posts from April, 2010
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So, I wish I could talk about work. But I won't. It used to be that I said this was the best job I ever had. All I can say is that I am writing this post to myself. To remind myself of the reasons I feel this way. To remind myself of the reasons that changes may need to be made. To give me the strength to take chances. It will be May in a few days but I cannot shake the "April" blues. Learned today the truck needs new tires. I guess I didn't notice that the dealer swapped out new ones for old ones. Have to come up with $800. I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck and even then not making it. It would be tolerable if this was still the best job I ever had. Note to self: remember what is important. Remember who you are.
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So, I write about this in the hopes that I not only improve my own skills but I help other people too. Alaska may be what gets me...but I hope not. I went bear hunting out on Tutka Bay this weekend. We almost didn't get to go because the outboard on Jesse's boat was being stupid. Just as we were about to give up (after about 3 hours of screwing with it), I had an idea that actually worked. I think that is what I am most proud of (besides the decision to turn back) which I'll talk about. I'm not that mechanical and I don't have much patience but we figured it out. It was a gorgeous day. Flat calm. We made it to Sea Star Cove cabin with no problems. It is a beautiful little cabin built with Exxon Valdez settlement funds. I can't wait to take the girls there. We toured around around the bay. Didn't see any black bears. Did see eagles, including one catching a fish, porpoises, a coyote, sea otters (including a mom with a baby on her chest), ducks and sea birds …
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So, happy birthday to my #2 girl! Actually, it is tomorrow but we are celebrating it today so I can go bear hunting this weekend. I don't even know where to start. Every day you amaze me. I think it is often because I don't know where you got your easy going character. Ever since you were born you have been super mellow. I love how you are up for anything. It doesn't matter what we are doing. I say "are you ready?". Without fail, you always respond "ready" and take my hand. I love it. I love how you adore your sister. I mean adore. Whatever she does, you have to do. You say what she says. You want what she has. You have to have what she has. The other day I was letting Kadee hold an egg from the incubator. You wanted one. I said no because I was afraid you would drop it. You broke my heart. Almost literally. You stuck your lip out and you ran to your room to sulk. I went in to see you and you put your arms around me. Needless to say, you got to…
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So, looking on the bright side, it was a beautiful day. So we transplanted seedlings. Broke up ice with a pry bar. Not the best use of time I suppose but it is very satisfying to break ice off the driveway and cart off huge piles to melt in its own time. I can't say I had the most productive weekend ever but at least nothing new (to my knowledge) broke. I am just trying to keep perspective. When the mechanic returns the boat will be fixed. Everyone is healthy. Summer is coming. The house is even getting better. Besides the new flooring and paint that I am doing, I have taken advantage of the state weatherization program. This last week I had $4000 of insulation work done for basically free. Including the inspections, and some work I had done this winter, it might cost me about $500. It should have cost me nothing but I forgot I had work done before and didn't negotiate that into the price of the insulation work. Oh well. The crawl space and attic are now completely re-insulat…
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So, have I mentioned how much I fu&*&k(&^ hate April? Have I? It isn't just all the new snow we got this week. Or little things like having things you want to use frozen solid when it is almost May. First, my bear hunting trip has been cancelled. Last fall I took the boat to the mechanic. We drained it. Filled it with antifreeze. Properly winterized it. Yet somehow something froze and cracked something somewhere so now it is spewing antifreeze. It will take time and money to fix. A lot of money. So we had to bag on the cabin and the whole thing. Why did it happen? April. How am I going to pay for the repairs? Absolutely no clue. Yesterday for some reason, my wood stove split open. The house filled with smoke, smoke alarms went off, the whole thing. I tried to temporarily repair it with something that got too hot and the whole house reeked. I got some high temperature glue and got it patched. But why did that happen? April. J went to turn on her computer today and POOF …
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So, this is why I do this job. Of course, there will be no justice. Cops get 'terminated'. But every day my clients get years and years and years in prison for far less. They beat a man and then lied about it. Of course, the man attacked the cops first. Of course. What are these cops looking at? Perjury? Assault? Attempted murder? Oh no. Police get 'inquiries' and 'paid leave'. My clients get 'pound me in the ass' state prison. Imagine if there had been no video! This man could be looking at charges himself! The police are truly the enemy of the People. And I live in a place swarming with them. Where is your outrage now Prosecutors? There is no justice in America. None. Absolutely none. What a bunch of crap. These cops should be thrown in prison. General population. Then there might be justice.

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/video-shows-university-maryland-student-beaten-county-police/story?id=10362033
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So, when it's springtime in Alaska, it is time for chickens. They make me feel better for a lot of reasons: growing my own food, the coming of summer and how much the kids like them. We turn the spare bathroom into a brooder for a few weeks. Kind of gross (especially at the end) but I have been using spare bathrooms for chicks for 10 years or more. There is another reason I like them: I get them in April. And they are one more thing to keep me busy and get me through this month. I am starting my 'summer' a little early this year (for me 'summer' is May 1 through October 1). On friday we are taking the boat over to Tutka Bay to go bear hunting. Well, more accurately, we are going over to look around. Just A look around. And if we happen to see a tasty black bear who happens to think he will taste good ground up with red pepper, well fine. But if not, we have rented the Forest Service cabin and we will camp and fish and drink and explore Tutka Bay and Sadie Cove. So,…
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So. Happy birthday to my Kadee. 4 years already! You were so excited about your cake. Your fire outside. I made you moose spaghetti. 4 years already. Kadee, when you are an old woman, with babies of your own, I hope you can look back on this and see how things were. You have grown so much this last year. You are, I think, more like me every day. Stubborn. Prone to fits of drama. You love to talk. You love to help me cook. You continue to amaze me with what you know and what you want to know. I must admit, sometimes it drives me a bit crazy when you ask "why" over and over and over and over. But it makes me smile too. The time may come when you don't want to speak to me at all. "You just don't understand Dad", and all that. And, if the speed of the last 4 years means anything, the next 14 or so will fly by. So I answer your questions over and over and over and over. Remember little girl. I was one of the first people to see you and from …
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So, fine. Be cold. Be snowy. I will work on the house. Lay new slate. Use my friends as slave labor. I was trying to do the floor of the whole house. Baby #3 prevents that. But I will finish the one room I started. For those of you who know what it used to look like (yuck!) stand by for pictures of the finished product. Fine. Be crappy outside.
So. Snow. April 5, 2010.
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So, happy Easter. Hope all is well. No news. Took the girls on a Rhino ride. It amazes me everyday just how fast they are growing up. They both know how to ask for a "rhino ride" now. I know it will be a blink of an eye and they will be gone. That's it.