Wednesday, May 20, 2015

So.  I'm frustrated that I don't have more to say.  So much is still uncertain in my life.  Things are going well but more slowly than I would like.  As I get older I recognize the importance of doing so much more than working.  I have been traveling to Alaska a lot and am more confident than ever that I will return soon.  I just got back from a weekend home that was the most productive weekend of my life.  The firm has gone though a lot of problems with staff in the last 8 months that are finally behind us.  Many civil cases are finally maturing and soon bring some money into the firm.  It would be so much easier if we were just running one business but Jeremy and I started three from scratch.  People really have no idea how much work and money it takes to create a business. All in all things are going well indeed.  It is just trying to figure out timing.  Should I buy a house here or will I be moving back to Alaska soon?  My rent is $2800 a month and I hate it.  When will civil cases settle?  What will the cannabis industry rules in Alaska look like?  Will I be needed there sooner?  The kids are doing great and growing so fast. It is so important that I spend more time with them. The last three years have been full of work and worry.  It has been a real struggle.   I am looking forward to that day when I tell the girls to pack up.  When we return to Alaska I only work on what I want to work on.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

So, things are finally progressing around here.  Jeremy finally settled a big case last week that should allow me to pay off quite a bit of debt. After all these years of struggle, it is a welcome relief. In a twist of irony, I may not spend all the money I could paying off debt. I want to go home to Alaska, and as soon as possible. It is possible that we may be leaving as soon as December, 2015. So, I may spend a bunch of money getting a garage built at my little house. We may move back in there for a while. What a circle life can be. We have been trying to make the best of it with as much camping as possible in our old trailer. We finally found a spot that we really enjoy, mainly because there is no one else around. The kids are doing great. As for me, not else is new. I work and wait to work. I have to make some changes soon because I can feel my health suffering. I cannot wait to get back to Alaska and be more active. This year really will change our lives. I will continue to make the best of our time here but I am already starting to accumulate gear in Alaska. I have been back once this year and will be back again next month. One thing that IS new, is am focusing my practice on cannabis law. My Facebook page, Alaska Pot Attorney, is very robust and I enjoy doing it a lot. Soon, I will be home.  

Sunday, February 01, 2015

So, things are evolving for me.  It won't come as any surprise, but I've decided that I'm not staying here.  My plan right now is to return home to Alaska in June 2016.  I hope that gives me enough time to make enough money to do that.  I'm not planning to abandon my practice here, but will come back as necessary.  Of course, this is a all just a 'plan'.
Much depends on things outside my control.  Nevertheless, it feels good.  I have to do something else.  All I do here is work and wait to work.  My health has started to go downhill.  I keep telling myself I will get it back, but that is a lie.  So.  I have to start taking care of myself.  Remembering what is important.  I will write more as things develop.

Friday, December 05, 2014

So, oh my Holy God! My damned Green Card is in my wallet.  It really is true: life improves slowly (and collapses in an instant).  My return home to Alaska is now partially complete.  Now it is just about money.  God know I am trying.  I have three full time jobs right now.  No kidding.  I am working at least 12 hours a day, 7 days a week and still feel frantic.  I am still responsible for the majority of this firm's income right now.  Over 20 people depend on me every two weeks.  I am positioning myself to be 'Alaska's Pot Attorney".  And not to mention, we are putting in March.  That is a HUGE project.  
Otherwise things are fine.  The kids are doing well.  I am growing older (and fatter from lack of activity by the day) but I keep thinking that things are really about to change.  After two years, I still miss Alaska so badly.  I miss being active.  I miss owning a house.  I don't know how much longer I can work this hard just to sink every penny into the business.  Oh, I know that is part of it.  I get it.  But the time also comes when a man realizes that every moment spent at his desk is moment gone forever.  I am incredibly lucky to have such great people around me and so much potential.  But dammit, I just need something to break loose.  

Friday, November 21, 2014

So, I can't believe it.  
After 14 years I have a Green Card!  All the hours, all the struggle, all the sacrifice, all the tears and angst are starting to come together.  I cannot even imagine a 2015 in which things are not considerably better.  Between the criminal defense practice, the civil practice, the max tory practice and (most importantly) the legalization of marijuana in Alaska, things are finally coming together for me.  My firm is hosting in March.  That means I can go home again in March.  I am so busy right now that I am actually annoyed at my body.  When I need to eat or rest I am annoyed that my body cannot keep up with my mind.  I am working 7 days a week and at least 12 hours a day.  Yet, some of it does not seem like work.  And that is the best feeling of all.  I will try and update soon.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

So, things are progressing slowly. I've made this blog private temporarily. It's always a fine line for me how much of myself I put out there. I don't have anything to hide but I'm aware that having a blog certainly reveals a lot about myself and is a sacrifice of some privacy. First, and perhaps biggest, is that J and I have our green card interviews on November 18. After 14 years, things may shake loose for me. If nothing else, that was worth leaving Alaska for. No matter what happens now, assuming the green cards are issued, we will be able to return to Alaska. We are going in December and I am getting the kids ready.  On a 95 degree day, they dressed up in their winter gear to make sure it still fit.  Work is progressing.  My frustration over slow progress has boiled over into a resolve to simply borrow between $500,000 and $1,000,000 to hit this super hard.  We have a plan that, if it works, could mean a return to Alaska wiring 4 yours with as much money as we need for the rest of our lives.  We'll see.  Either way, I am returning to Alaska is just whether we have money or not.  I have been doing all I can to stay sane.  I miss the outdoors horribly so have been trying to go camping or boating whenever the opportunity arises.  My stress levels are causing me to have some health concerns and I am in pain pretty much every day.   I am most concerned about my heart. I am thinking I am just horribly out of shape because all I do is work and go home and sit. My activity level has declined horribly, as 12 hour days at work are common for me.  However, I have reason to think that 2015 could be a good year for me.  I know I said that in 2013 about 2014 but things have not progressed as quickly as I would have liked.  I am now trying to exercise every day.  A huge number of civil cases SHOULD settle next year and it could mean I am finally debt free.  Our green cards SHOULD come this year.  A trip to Alaska is only 2 months away.  You know, I don't want much.  I don't need a fancy car or a house in Hollywood.  I just want the time to do what matters to me.  I want more time with my kids.  To look up at the night sky.  To not be paying thousands of dollars to the bank in interest every month.  I am hopeful that the next year will put me in a better position to do that.  To ensure that I spend the rest of my life seeing a view like this whenever I want....

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

So, the kids, as you can see, are doing great.  AJ lost her first tooth a few days ago. God they grow so quickly.  Thus,  I've been going out of my way to go camping and do things in California while we can.  Things at work are going objectively well to outsiders.  Of course, we continue to invest almost everything back into the place.  I don't mind doing that.  My only fear is that I look up and I am 50 and still in debt.  Still here.  I feel a clock ticking inside  me.  As I tell my clients, money is replaceable...time isn't.   Thus, the struggle continues.  This isn't easy in so many ways.  Of course, I continue to miss Alaska.
 It hasn't eased even a single inch in over two years.  The fall is in full swing in Alaska and I miss it horribly.  This blows.  That is all I can say.  I still feel like I am drifting....I haven't even finishing unpacking from Alaska and I don't intend to.  On the flip side, things are taking their sweet time.  We had to make a hard business decision and let my buddy Gabe go.  He is apparently going back to Alaska soon.  Despite my optimism for the future, there is a part of me that can't help be jealous, despite how hard it is on everyone.  At least I am taking the family to Alaska for Christmas.  It's hard to wait.     Despite my best efforts, I cannot find a way to be happy here.  The mass torts are taking forever and costing a fortune.  I am starting two new web sites, however, that hold amazing promise.  Both and could lead to the life I want.  I guess I will just keep going.