Wednesday, January 27, 2016

So, to not write since July is unacceptable.  I have decided to make my blog public again.  Not because I think anyone will actually read it, but because I want to make it accessible to my kids if anything were to happen to me.  Also, I intend to chronicle my life more on this again.  I'd like to say that a lot has changed since I wrote 5 months ago, but that would be a lie.  Granted, things have improved.  We bought a house.  Its a shitshack but its ours.  It is 1588 square feet, was built in the 1970's and never updated, has a rat and mold problem.  BUT, assuming the economy doesn't collapse, I can probably build a few hundred thousand in equity.  I've decided that, barring death or total incapacity, we are going back to Alaska in June of 2018.  That seems like a long way off, but it isn't.  Granted, my finances currently do not support such a move.  As always, I am broke.  Supporting a family on one income in a place with incredibly expensive cost of living doesn't leave much.  Plus, we are still plowing everything into the firm.  I am super optimistic though.  My work in the Alaska marijuana industry didn't pay off but I got to go home a lot last year.  Jeremy and I went to Tustumena in October and the family went to Soldotna for two weeks at Christmas.  Really, the point of this post is to remind myself to start doing this again.  Just for me.  And maybe my kids one day.  The last three years have been hard on my health and my heart but I can sense that major changes are coming and I'm glad.


Sunday, July 26, 2015

So, I cannot believe it has been two months since I have posted.  I have never experienced this before: time is going by so fast I cannot keep up.  Weeks and months fly by.  I am extraordinarily busy.  Most of my time is spent on projects that should allow me to escape this lifestyle and this place.  I have worked too hard for the last three years and my health is beginning to suffer.  At 42.  Not cool.  A real change of mindset needs to happen.  I have injured myself to help people who skip out on their bills.   My left foot is in pain all the time now.  I think I can recover if I just stop working so hard.    We bought a house here. It is a long way from our dream house but it is better than spending $3000 a month in rent.  I have an arrangement where I live in the house for no less than two years and no more than three.  That is my timeline.  I am 42 now.  Right around my 45th birthday I intend to return home to Alaska for good.  Here are my priorities between now and then: make a lot of money and try to get my health back.  Years of sitting here helping the ungrateful has taken its toll. However, all is not negative.
Years of effort are hopefully about to pay off.  If I don't kill myself in the process, I will spend a lot of time doing what I want to do.  I will also try and update this blog more often.  While I see this period as one of transition, it is not for my girls.  For them, this is a place they are growing up.  I must remember that in the next 24-36 months.  

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

So.  I'm frustrated that I don't have more to say.  So much is still uncertain in my life.  Things are going well but more slowly than I would like.  As I get older I recognize the importance of doing so much more than working.  I have been traveling to Alaska a lot and am more confident than ever that I will return soon.  I just got back from a weekend home that was the most productive weekend of my life.  The firm has gone though a lot of problems with staff in the last 8 months that are finally behind us.  Many civil cases are finally maturing and soon bring some money into the firm.  It would be so much easier if we were just running one business but Jeremy and I started three from scratch.  People really have no idea how much work and money it takes to create a business. All in all things are going well indeed.  It is just trying to figure out timing.  Should I buy a house here or will I be moving back to Alaska soon?  My rent is $2800 a month and I hate it.  When will civil cases settle?  What will the cannabis industry rules in Alaska look like?  Will I be needed there sooner?  The kids are doing great and growing so fast. It is so important that I spend more time with them. The last three years have been full of work and worry.  It has been a real struggle.   I am looking forward to that day when I tell the girls to pack up.  When we return to Alaska I only work on what I want to work on.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

So, things are finally progressing around here.  Jeremy finally settled a big case last week that should allow me to pay off quite a bit of debt. After all these years of struggle, it is a welcome relief. In a twist of irony, I may not spend all the money I could paying off debt. I want to go home to Alaska, and as soon as possible. It is possible that we may be leaving as soon as December, 2015. So, I may spend a bunch of money getting a garage built at my little house. We may move back in there for a while. What a circle life can be. We have been trying to make the best of it with as much camping as possible in our old trailer. We finally found a spot that we really enjoy, mainly because there is no one else around. The kids are doing great. As for me, not else is new. I work and wait to work. I have to make some changes soon because I can feel my health suffering. I cannot wait to get back to Alaska and be more active. This year really will change our lives. I will continue to make the best of our time here but I am already starting to accumulate gear in Alaska. I have been back once this year and will be back again next month. One thing that IS new, is am focusing my practice on cannabis law. My Facebook page, Alaska Pot Attorney, is very robust and I enjoy doing it a lot. Soon, I will be home.  

Sunday, February 01, 2015

So, things are evolving for me.  It won't come as any surprise, but I've decided that I'm not staying here.  My plan right now is to return home to Alaska in June 2016.  I hope that gives me enough time to make enough money to do that.  I'm not planning to abandon my practice here, but will come back as necessary.  Of course, this is a all just a 'plan'.
Much depends on things outside my control.  Nevertheless, it feels good.  I have to do something else.  All I do here is work and wait to work.  My health has started to go downhill.  I keep telling myself I will get it back, but that is a lie.  So.  I have to start taking care of myself.  Remembering what is important.  I will write more as things develop.

Friday, December 05, 2014

So, oh my Holy God! My damned Green Card is in my wallet.  It really is true: life improves slowly (and collapses in an instant).  My return home to Alaska is now partially complete.  Now it is just about money.  God know I am trying.  I have three full time jobs right now.  No kidding.  I am working at least 12 hours a day, 7 days a week and still feel frantic.  I am still responsible for the majority of this firm's income right now.  Over 20 people depend on me every two weeks.  I am positioning myself to be 'Alaska's Pot Attorney".  And not to mention, we are putting in March.  That is a HUGE project.  
Otherwise things are fine.  The kids are doing well.  I am growing older (and fatter from lack of activity by the day) but I keep thinking that things are really about to change.  After two years, I still miss Alaska so badly.  I miss being active.  I miss owning a house.  I don't know how much longer I can work this hard just to sink every penny into the business.  Oh, I know that is part of it.  I get it.  But the time also comes when a man realizes that every moment spent at his desk is moment gone forever.  I am incredibly lucky to have such great people around me and so much potential.  But dammit, I just need something to break loose.  

Friday, November 21, 2014

So, I can't believe it.  
After 14 years I have a Green Card!  All the hours, all the struggle, all the sacrifice, all the tears and angst are starting to come together.  I cannot even imagine a 2015 in which things are not considerably better.  Between the criminal defense practice, the civil practice, the max tory practice and (most importantly) the legalization of marijuana in Alaska, things are finally coming together for me.  My firm is hosting in March.  That means I can go home again in March.  I am so busy right now that I am actually annoyed at my body.  When I need to eat or rest I am annoyed that my body cannot keep up with my mind.  I am working 7 days a week and at least 12 hours a day.  Yet, some of it does not seem like work.  And that is the best feeling of all.  I will try and update soon.